Is it possible to date a non-vegan? Yes, most definitely. Is it ideal? No, but there’s more to it than that. Based on the Match Questions from GreenSingles.com, the majority of members say that it’s their “preference, but not mandatory”, and that “it would make things easier”. About 10% say it’s “extremely important” (in other words a “must”).
Respect is one of the key factors when it comes to dating a non-vegan—respect in both directions, that is. The majority of vegans converted to veganism at one point in their lives, and based on the answers above, most vegans wouldn’t want to miss out on an incredible person because they are not a vegan. Keep in mind that there is a huge spectrum out here. Maybe your potential partner is a vegetarian leaning towards being a vegan. Dating a vegetarian is much easier than dating a full-on carnivore, for example.
Having our morals and ethics aligned makes having a relationship much easier on all levels, especially when it comes to what we eat, as so much of life revolves around food! Dating someone who has meat with most meals, is much more challenging than dating someone who puts cheese on their veggie burger, or butter on their popcorn. Who you choose to date partially depends on your level of tolerance. If you can’t stand to watch your honey eat meat because you feel so sad for the cow, chicken, fish or pig, then dating someone who eats any meat is not going to work for you unless you have agreements around when and where they eat meat (ie: not in front of you, not at home…).
Communication and agreements can make it work. For example, you might create an agreement that you prepare and eat four vegan dinners together each week. The other three nights are takeaway, going out to dinner, or preparing separate meals. You might have an agreement that your partner does not cook any meat in the house, but their butter in the fridge is okay. Deals like these can be the pieces of the puzzle that make dating non-vegan partner much easier and even workable. Discussions about why you chose to be vegan can help them understand you and your ethics and love for animals and the planet. These heartfelt sharings will most likely inspire them to be more compassionate and empathic towards you, and hopefully the animals and planet too.
If your potential non-vegan partner is open-minded, that is a huge plus! There will most likely be discussions, even debates about veganism, farming practices, use of land, health etc… If your partner berates you, makes fun of your choices, or is constantly nagging you about not getting enough protein, then it’s not going to work. They need to be respectful and understanding of why you are vegan if there is any hope of having a successful, loving relationship. And, same goes for you, if you like to make fun of their dietary choices, then you may be better off with a vegan. It’s important to know where you stand and your level of tolerance and understanding too.
Of course, dating a vegan is ideal and easy, as long as you have mutual interests, values, sense of humor and chemistry. Sharing a vegan lifestyle is a wonderful base, and obviously, there is more to a relationship!
The best place to meet other vegans is a niche online dating site or app that markets to vegans, like GreenSingles.com, which has in-depth, detailed profiles and no superficial swiping. When creating your profile, make sure to answer the questions honestly and remember that your profile is a screening mechanism. Your headshot should be current, high resolution, smiling and well lit. For your additional photos, make sure to include at least one full-length shot and avoid pics with other people in them. The essay questions can help you get clear on what’s important to you, and the Match Questions are great for the detailed stuff!
Once you have created your profile, then it’s time to start browsing through other members’ profiles. Use the “Search” page and start broad, without many filters…like only age range and vegan. Then start narrowing based on the other high priorities in your life like your spiritual beliefs, children preference and such. Many of the success stories on Green Singles start out being long-distance, so why not be open-minded about where your potential partner may live? With video dating, it’s easier than ever to get to know someone before meeting in person. You can also change your preferences as you go. For example, if you get through all of the vegans who match your other criteria, change “vegan” to “Plant-based”, “Mostly Plant Based” and “Vegetarian”. You can adjust the search parameters and see the results change in real time.
Make sure to read the profiles of potential matches, especially their essay answers and Match Question answers (you’ll see a compatibly percentage based on the Match Question answers). There is so much depth there, that you will be able to get a sense of their open-mindedness, beliefs and morals. Use their answers to help screen potentials, don’t just go by looks. Compatibility is much more important than looks alone, and chemistry can come in all shapes, sizes and colors! Soften your focus on the looks, and use your inner guidance as to whom you contact. When you feel that “nudge” go for it!
Making contact is a must. Sending a personally written message works wonders, and a helpful acronym to give you some ideas is “RCA”.
R: Respond to something they have written in their profile that you can relate to or that you find interesting. Example, “I love that you listen to conscious reggae, me too!”
C: Compliment them based on something they have shared in their profile. Example: “Wow, I’m impressed that you are planting so many trees, veggies and medicinal plants. If everyone did that, we would be so much better off!”
A: Ask a question (or two) to get the conversation going (usually about one of the above things you have responded to or complimented them about). Example: “Do you practice permaculture? What kind of medicinal plants are you growing?”
Don’t write a novel on your profile, and keep your opening message short and sweet, and very much about what they have written on their profile and how you can relate. The idea is to start a conversation based on mutual interests or beliefs. Focus on common ground. Don’t get caught up with trying to sell yourself or impress them. Keep it about them and stay humble and real.
One of the most important parts of the process is to have fun and not take it too seriously. If you get rejected, know that it happens to everyone, keep it in perspective, learn and grow from each experience, and say “NEXT!”. Give each person a chance, and the benefit of the doubt. Trust and know that there is someone out there for you, and in-JOY the adventure of meeting and getting to know them. Your soul mate awaits! Have fun!
Jill Crosby is the owner/founder of the Conscious Dating Network, the largest network of exclusively conscious/spiritual/green dating sites on the Internet, featuring her flagship site, www.SpiritualSingles.com launched in 2000 and www.GreenSingles.com inherited in 2014. There are several dating sites that all share the same, large database of members in the spiritual/green niche. All members automatically have access to all members from all sites, by joining one site.
During the first 9-years of growing her online dating site business, Jill worked a “day job” as Director and Sales Trainer for the original photo/video bricks and mortar dating company in the US. During that time she interviewed over 6000 singles in 7 different states.
Jill is an inspirational public speaker and is known for her candor, vulnerability, down to earth honesty and humor as she helps singles thrive in the world of online dating and ultimately meet their life partners. She is also a hypnotherapist, metaphysician and facilitator of Wild Dolphin and Whale Swim Retreats and SCUBA Trips for Singles. Her events site, www.SpiritualEvents.com promotes conscious/spiritual events worldwide.
© 2000-2022 Conscious Dating Network, LLC – All rights reserved. You may publish this article in its entirety and with the authors’ resource information intact.